A Setback To My Comeback
In 2007 I was making my way through college when I started to experience strange mental symptoms, that really started to affect me. I felt chronically disconnected from myself. I couldn’t stand the feeling so I left college, which was a really hard decision. |
I was hospitalized many times and the doctors tried me on different medications, but they didn’t work. I felt completely alone with these feelings. The symptoms impaired my ability to talk to other people so it was really debilitating.
Being in the hospital was hard too. I felt trapped. I wanted to leave. I wasn’t like the other patients. They were delusional and talking to themselves and I was having internal problems. But the staff wouldn’t let me leave until they thought I was ready.
I abused pills to escape the feelings I was having and that created a whole other host of problems.
I attracted certain toxic people into my life because I was using and became, even more, self destructive.
I eventually discovered a 12 step program that helped me get off drugs and manage my anxiety symptoms. It’s important to have supportive people in your life if you’re going through something. I’d say the people in the program carried me through all these years.
If I needed someone, I’d just go to a meeting or pick up the phone and they’d be there.
I started keeping a journal to get it all out and vent. I’ve always been a big proponent of journaling. I sometimes can see things more clearly if I write them down.
Another thing that helped me was support groups. It was a place where I could talk about my feelings and get feedback. I did DBT, which was intended to help you with distressing emotions.
My belief in a higher power also helped me to get through my issues. I frequently prayed and ask that my problems be removed. Today I still do support groups, and I’m getting into volunteering because I want to give back. I also aspire to become a peer counselor, to further give back. I feel that would be very rewarding
You have to push yourself when you're at your lowest point. Someone once said to me “One foot in front of the other.” We’re thrown many obstacles, but we have the strength to overcome them. I am grateful that I have my friends and family to support me. I don't look at what happened to me and pity myself, its my gift.