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When you hear the word Intimacy, what comes up for you? For me, I think of an emotional and physical connection with another person. It can be a beautiful thing to be intimate with someone, sharing your life and expressing yourself physically. Whether you’re in a relationship or interested in someone, it can be helpful know how to navigate intimacy.
Make small disclosures: It can be damaging to disclose everything about yourself at once to your significant other/love interest. You don’t want to push them away with an overload of information. Instead, try revealing parts of you, a little at a time. The first date is not the first time to talk about your past relationship problems. Buy each other little gifts from time to time: Words aren’t the only way to express yourself. Sentimental gifts can be a very good way to enhance intimacy. It’s thoughtful and a special part of a relationship. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, just something that comes from the heart. My Ex used to buy me jewelry and pay for things and It made me feel really good. Removing blocks to emotional intimacy: Sometimes we experience a block to emotional intimacy because we have trouble trusting or we associate the person we want to be intimate with another who hurt us. Get a pen and paper, or take your laptop out and write down all of the differences between your significant another and the hurtful person. Once you realize that this current interest is not the individual from your past and they aren’t necessarily out to hurt you, you can start to open up to them more. It’s hard to trust people because your letting your guard down and there’s the potential to get hurt but sometimes you just have to take a chance. Showing affection and bridging the physical gap: If you don’t normally show affection to each other, try hugging at times you normally wouldn’t, like before they go to work and when they come back. And holding hands can be a very intimate act. If you’re uncomfortable - try taking your partners hand when you are walking to a Restaurant. Verbalizing your physical preferences and needs: Whoaaaa. This one makes me a little bit uncomfortable. But it is an integral part of every relationship. Being physical without discussing your preferences and needs can make you miss out on really experiencing one other. Do you like foreplay? Cuddling? Oral Sex? What are your fantasies? Talking about these things with your partner can enhance the physical part of your relationship, and add to the emotional connection as well. Also, Men and women view sex differently. A lot of women need an emotional connection with their partner in order to really connect physically, and men tend to connect through physical contact. According to a Huffington post article about men and sex, “For many men, sexual contact opens up a gateway to their soul. Like turning on a spigot of running water, they suddenly get in touch with raw feelings, the virtues of tenderness and the need to depend on another human being for warmth and safety.” So, it is important to discuss what sex means to you. Visualizing: If you don’t have anyone in your life to be intimate with, you can close your eyes and visualize what you wish for. Imagining what you want is a great way to manifest it into your life, or at least feel like It’s possible.