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Things I Never Thought I Would Say...Then I Had Sons!

We all know kids say and do crazy things which tends to lead to parents having wacky responses.

Being a mom of three boys, weird things tend to come out of my mouth on a daily basis; things I thought I would never say.

I'm pretty sure most of you moms, (especially those with boys) know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm also almost positive you have all said some weird things you thought would never leave your lips.

Here are 25 things I didn't know that would wind up coming out of my mouth until I had boys.

1. "Please don't fart on your brother. That's gross!"

2. "Okay, seriously now. Please stop farting. It's not as hilarious as you think."

3. "You're walking around naked, we have company, the windows are open and the neighbors can see in. Where are your pants?!"

4. "Stop touching yourself. You'll have plenty of time to do that later on in life."

5. "Please don't lick the windows in the truck. It looks like I took the dogs for a ride."

6. "Why do you have to wipe boogers in your brothers hair?"

7. "Please put your penis away! We are in public."

8. "Why is there a butt print on the window!! Come on man I just cleaned."

9. "Who drew on the dog with a sharpie?!"

10. "Why are there leaves and sticks and ... what the hell?! There's a damn snake in the house!"

11. "Who painted the sink with toothpaste?!"

12. "What is that green stuff all over your clothes? And there's a hole in your pants. How did you manage this in 5 hours?"

13. "Please don't go up to random people and tell them you're a world class karate champion."

14. "Get your hand out of your pants!"

15. "Oh my goodness! You can't draw on your brothers face with markers!"

16. "Why is the toilet seat taped shut?"

17. "I don't want to look at your poo!"

18. "Stop dancing on the dining room table."

19. "Why is play-doh stuck to your butt?"

20. "Don't lick the dog!"

21. "When are you going to be able to wipe your own butt?"

22. "Why does it smell? Who hid a fish stick in the couch cushions!"

23. "Please, please don't put your bare bottom on the table. Again, where are your pants?"

24. "It's way too quiet. Did you do something to your brother?"

25. "Because I said so, that's why."

Photo Courtesy of Mandi Mitchell

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