Patience is a Virtue
Patience is a virtue, not for others but for yourself. For your own peace of mind and sanity. My grandmother always told me this saying, “patience is a virtue”. I never really understood what the saying truly meant until now.
For most of my life, I have been the complete opposite of patient. I was impatience, intolerable if I wanted something I didn’t just need it now, I needed it right freaking now. Having patience is the ability or willingness to accept an annoyance, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. The bearing of provocation, misfortune or pain without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation. I was constantly annoyed, irritated, always complaining and often angry.
In order to make a change, one must be willing to act in a different way. One must take action, however actively changing is not easy for most people. Most commonly, the fear of change is what holds people back. The fear of the unknown, the fear of acting in a way that is foreign. The best way to face your fears is having faith. Have faith that everything will be okay. Have faith that a change can enhance your life.
Living life with impatience and intolerance is stressful, uncomfortable and painful. I lived with the pain for more than half my life. I was blind to it. Once I realized this un-comfortability, I knew there had to be a better way. The process of learning how to be patient and tolerant must begin with the admission that there is an issue. Then and only then can you take the steps to actively making a change.
In the beginning of my journey, I needed to define what patience and tolerance actually meant. I learned that these defects were detrimental to my happiness and peace of mind. I also began to realize that patience isn't only for others but also for yourself. I confused this all my life. I was under the impression that patience was kindness and compassion for others and only for others. Although patience is compassion and understanding for others, it is also, most Importantly, to help you achieve a calm, quitted mind. The minute you let a small thing annoy you or test your patience, you are putting stress on your mind and can lead to chaos and insanity.
Today, instead of sweating the small stuff, I chose to have kindness and compassion for myself. How, you may ask, does one achieve the ability to have compassion for one’s self? Patience and tolerance are the answer. Ridding yourself of stress is one of the kindest things you can do for your mind, body, and soul.
As I stated, the first step to learning patience is to identify that there is an issue. Some signs that you are experiencing impatience are short breaths, muscle tension, hand clenching, restless feet, irritability or anger, anxiety or nervousness, rushing, and making rash or quick decisions.
Once you realize that you are feeling impatient, the next step is to identify the underlying cause. Most people have triggers that set them off into an impatient state of mind. My triggers are rush hour traffic, repeating myself, waiting on line, basically any slow-moving situation. Other triggers may be specific situations, peoples, phrases, even noises. It helps to make a list of things that tend to cause you to be impatient.
A few ways to help you identify your triggers are to think about the most recent incident where you displayed impatience and ask yourself; what caused it, and why? It also helps to speak to the people close to you. Ask them about your impatience, what they think causes you to get bent out of shape. Keeping a journal can also be helpful. Keep track of the situations that cause you to get impatience or intolerant. For me, writing about things helps me clarify what I am feeling and why.
Remember, physical and mental factors may also be a cause. Sometimes it is good to “HALT”. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Ask yourself these questions the next time you begin to feel that feeling of impatience or intolerance. The solution may be as simple as taking a nap or having a snack.
Figuring out what your triggers are will help you identify the causes for your impatient feelings and actions. Having the knowledge of what and why you feel and act in this way will help you be able to change these feelings and actions. Here are a few tips that can help you practice patience and tolerance.
Taking deep breaths and counting to 10 can help slow your heart rate and relax your body and mind. Focus on relaxing your muscles and slowing down your thoughts. Thinking calm, soothing thoughts can help bring you to a place of peace and serenity.
Also, consciously remembering that you always have a choice in every single one of your reactions. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you react to those situations.
Today, I choose to have patience and tolerance. What helps me make that choice is remembering that impatience never makes a situation better. It doesn’t make traffic move faster, it doesn’t make people move faster, and it certainly doesn’t make a situation easier to deal with.
The way I look at it today is that every time I am impatient or intolerant, I am volunteering myself for stress. I remind myself that I am not in control of everything. I am powerless over other people and outside forces. I use my spirituality to help me accept my powerlessness. I pray for patience and tolerance and ask for help every day.
Another way to practice patience is by remembering that I’m not necessarily the easiest person to deal with either. People may have to practice patience and tolerance with me. I love the saying, “live and let live”. The definition of this phrase is to tolerate the opinions and behaviors of others so that they will similarly tolerate yours. This is a great way to live. It allows you to have compassion for others while at the same time having compassion for yourself.
Patience is a virtue, and virtue is defined as a beneficial quality. Today, after working on my impatient attitudes and behaviors, I finally realize what my grandmother was speaking about when she would tell me this saying. Patience is a beneficial quality for many reasons. It helps you show compassion and tolerance for others, but most importantly relieves you of stress and brings you to a calm, serene place that will help enhance your mind, body, and soul. I am grateful for having found a way to have patience and tolerance in my life, and with a clear head and mind, I am grateful to have the opportunity to share my experience with others.